Why You Shouldn't Judge Loyalty

Posted on July 31, 2013.

Like many of you out there, it’s hard to avoid the news about Anthony Weiner, his sexting scandal and race for mayor. But what I find more intriguing is how vocal and judgmental people like the Post’s Sally Quinn are around his wife, Huma Abedin.  Ms. Quinn throws her under the bus and says, “Sadly, she makes all women look like weak and helpless victims.”

I know marriage is a very different animal, but how many of you out there have stayed with or know people who have stayed with companies that have been far more egregious in their conduct than Mr. Weiner’s sexting? Did Ms. Quinn write an opinion piece on Tyco employees that remained with the company even after witnessing the $2 million birthday party CEO Dennis Kozlowski threw for his wife?  And what about all the employees that remained at disgraced companies like HealthSouth, Global Crossing or Barclays after the recent Libor scandal?

You can say that a company is not human and can’t foster the kind of love and support you see in a marriage, but I would beg to differ. I know many people who love their jobs and their employers and will defend their companies’ actions without question.  I used to be one of those people.  When you’re in the middle of a situation, it’s almost impossible to judge it objectively.

If you ask most people that know me, they’d say I’m something of a feminist and might be surprised at my defense of Ms, Abedin’s support for her husband. But someone’s loyalty can’t be judged from the outside. So how dare Ms, Quinn be so judgmental, especially when those of us who’ve been in the DC area awhile remember how harshly she was judged for having an affair with her married boss (now husband). Sadly, it’s also another example of women failing to support other women.

It remains to be seen if Ms. Abedin stays with her husband, but in the meantime, let's stop judging her decisions.